Laying down your life

I've spent the last 17 years of life serving youth in the city.  This morning I wake reminded of all the precious souls that I've had the blessing of encountering. Sometimes I think back and ask myself, "was it all worth it?" All the time spent, the sacrifices made, the blood sweat and tears? The answer is a resounding YES!

Last night I pulled into the local 7-11 and saw Isila, a 19 year old mother of a 2 year old baby boy. Two years ago she was addicted to alcohol and in and out of juvenile prison. She's now employed with UPS and driving around in her own car with baby boy in arm, smiling, with no recollection of a drunk mother.

A year ago I received a message from a young man named Albert. He says, and I quote, "Eric, I don't know if you remember me or not, but it's been about 8 years since you've worked with me. I am now 24 and a father of two pursuing my dreams with my music and art. When I was younger I was so messed up, lost trying to find myself, but you really played a big role in my life. To this day I hear your voice in my head sharing wisdom that I still use. I never thanked you for all you did for me, but you made an impact in my life and I want to thank you now!" Of course I remembered him! A quiet, withdrawn young man whose heart was shattered because of the nasty divorce his mother and father were going through. His father was abusive and manipulative, forcing his children to pick sides and blaming them when it was convenient. He barely spoke a word, but now through poetry and hip hop he shares his voice to the masses. He's actually good, unlike some of my students who think they're the next PAC lol.

Then there's Paco. An 18 year old with a brilliant mind! A leader unlike I've seen in years. I met him as a scrawny freshman. He was filled with anger and violence. His mother and father, both addicts, were restricted to 5 blocks of the city because of their lifetime of gang involvement. He was on track to drop out as a freshman, experiencing constant run ins with rival gangs on the daily. He was always sparking up racial tension between African-American students, fueling the hate and racism he had deep in his heart. Paco emerged from a life of poverty and suffering. When I met him he was treading, barely keeping his head above water.  But now he is a super senior, determined to graduate and laser focused on doing something with his life in the construction and engineering field. Over the summer his brother was shot and killed. Paco was present, involved in the altercation and held his brother in his arms as he took his last breath, eventually succumbing to his injuries. I'm not sure how, but Paco has found a way to heal and is more motivated then ever to preserve his life and vision. I recently had the privilege of spending time with him, drafting out a life plan and resourcing him to fulfill the dream.

Was it, is it all worth it? I think so! Laying down my life for the benefit of others has been my greatest privilege. It's an honor to live for those on the margins. At times the empty bank accounts, the pain of being offended and unappreciated, or the struggle to gain support for youth in the city can drive us mad. But we cannot let these things stop us from laying down our lives for others. To not grow weary and to remain running the race love must be our motive! Let love guide us forward. When you live selflessly and put others needs above your own, you find life! You find deeper purpose and meaning. You wake understanding your place and contribution in this world. Ask yourself this question, what can I do to lay down my life? The greatest expression of love is to lay down one's life for others. What does that look like for you? In my life it means to advocate, mentor, financially support, employ, and share the hope I have with all of the youth that I meet. What does it look like for you? How will you lay down your life for others?

A month ago a beautiful moment occurred that cemented this idea in my heart and mind forever. It was a Sunday afternoon and my family and I left church to eat lunch at In-N-Out. What made this day special was that we were able to spend time with a student of ours named Jonathan. Jonathan was granted his first day pass out of placement and incarceration in the last two years. He was just as excited as us, but a bit nervous as he shared that he did not know how to act around a family any longer. At an early age in Columbia, Jonathan's parents were being accused for the death of his baby sister due to their neglect. They were incarcerated and he was snatched out of their care and placed into the care of his Grandmother. He endured much, even more when his parents were released. His father was violent and abusive, disconnected from his life for most of his childhood. His mother was healing and figuring things out. On a trip to the states that he and his mother took at the age of 12, his mother was arrested due to a pending warrant she had. She was extradited back to Columbia, but once again Jonathan was taken from her care. This time he was trapped in the United States, his birthplace, but a place that was completely foreign to him. Due to his language barrier and now unforeseen foster placement with absolutely no family to support (he siblings were all in Columbia), he suffered for the next six years. Jonathan and I met during a brief stretch of freedom he had about 3 years ago. Since then, we've stayed in touch and we've followed him through his multiple hospitalizations, arrests, and placements. He is an amazing young man with a beautiful heart. He is intelligent, articulate and caring. He is now turning 18 and preparing for his release. He is being considered for placement in my home and therefore is being granted day visits with my family. He is pursuing higher education, applying for local community colleges and also applying for jobs. Coming back to the story, it was Sunday at In-N-Out, we finished our meal and were all walking out to the parking lot to load in the car to go home. My little guy Jeremy, four years old and rambunctious, sprinted out into the parking lot towards our car paying no mind. At that same moment a vehicle started to pull out in reverse unaware of Jeremy. His mother and I saw this happening in slow motion, but were paralyzed with fear and did not react as quickly. Without hesitation, Jonathan lunged towards my son. He pushed Jeremy out of the way and thrust his entire body underneath the trunk of the car, banging it with his fists to make the driver aware of the eminent danger. He literally laid his life down for my son. It was a nerve wracking situation and I was numb to what had just happened. We comforted Jeremy and made sure Jonathan was ok. As we all loaded into the car I began to cry silently as the ultimate sacrifice was made for my son. His life was preserved because the sacrifice of a friend. I asked Jonathan later, "what made you do something like that so easily without second thought?" He said, "Mr., you've done the same for me."

"Greater love has no one than this; to lay one's life for one's friends"

Eric Vasquez
Just Us 4 Youth